Meeting a guy at a bar is always a gamble. When I met Mr. Presumptuous, we were at one of my favorite bars on Halloween. The decor was very Zombie-Tiki, if you will, and the crowd included people from all walks of life. Throw in some 90's Rap and Hip Hop and it made for an awesome night. As it was Halloween, the girls were all dressed, or should I say NOT dressed, in their sluttiest costumes and the guys typically were wearing whatever they could find in their closet that could qualify as a costume. Mr. Presumptuous had them all beat with a skeleton onesie. He was cool, funny, and pretty charming.
After dancing and making out all night, we began making plans to see each other again. He lived about 45 minutes away in a beach town, while I was right in the center of Hollywood, so it was kind of a commitment to schedule dates and meeting up. Maybe this is where his entitlement came in.
It was the third time we were hanging out, and I had already met his friends and had a blast. He was flirty and attentive, always holding my hand or putting his arm around me. He even let me wear his leather jacket when we would go outside. He had stayed at my place before, but we hadn’t done….IT. We had only hung out twice and I wanted to keep this budding relationship going, before going all the way. But the chemistry was definitely there. Now we were headed to my friend's party for him to meet my friends for the first time.
We stopped at a liquor store to grab some booze before the party; no one likes a guest to show up empty-handed. We walked in and grabbed a case of beer and headed to the counter to pay. The nice Indian guy behind the counter asked if we are having a good night and began making small talk, politely asking if we needed anything else. Mr. Presumptuous replied, “Yeah, can I get pack of Trojans?” My face instantly went red and the clerk stared directly at me, giggling uncontrollably. I don’t think I have ever felt so embarrassed in my life, especially since this was our THIRD DATE! Get your shit taken care of before you meet me, and how dare you presume you’re getting lucky just because it's our third date! Unfortunately, his assumption was correct. Ooops!
“I hate these blurred lines, I know you want it...”