I had a crush on a girl I worked with at a theatre. She was 23; I’m 30. One of the things that drew me to her at first, besides being beautiful, is that she is a total Star Wars nerd.
I found every excuse to go and talk to her at work. Though I noticed she was a bit shy, I would often talk about Star Wars just to break the ice. I found out she lived near me; I could walk to her house from mine. I feel like that’s super important with dating in LA - proximity.
One night I was at a bar that is conveniently located between our apartments. I randomly texted her to come and grab a drink with me, and much to my surprise she did. I walked her home at the end of the night and asked her on a date. She seemed surprised, but quickly accepted. Then began the week and a half long venture to find a time that we were both available to go on a date. I work every Friday, Saturday, and Sunday nights at the theatre and have a day job cleaning houses and apartments. Plus, I’m an actor and audition regularly. So, needless to say, I was busy but was willing to find time for this girl.
Finally we found a date and time that worked, but she canceled the day before because she got scheduled to work. I get defeated easily. It was difficult enough to schedule that one date, and I didn’t want to go through that again. Then she sent me a text a few hours later saying that she got out of work so she could go out with me.
For our long-awaited first date I walked up to her house and we went for a stroll to Sushi Stop and saw a show at Upright Citizens Brigade. I think walks are romantic, plus, walking in LA? Nobody walks in LA. The date ended with a kiss in front of her building.
Our second date was on Groundhog’s Day, and I cooked her dinner. The menu for the evening was Brussels sprouts cooked with bacon, my famous fried chicken, and a tossed green salad, all accompanied with some red wine. And since it was Groundhog’s Day, we watched Groundhog’s Day and cuddled on my couch.
After that, we went on a date once a week for almost two months. Sometimes at the end of the night at the theatre we would walk out together and hold hands. I would walk her to her car and we’d get in and talk for a minute. I’d give her a kiss goodnight and that was it. Some weeks we wouldn’t even have time to go out, our schedules wouldn’t allow it. I tried, a lot, to no avail to make dates. Walking out of the theatre and holding hands was our date for the week sometimes, and this frustrated me. Things never really picked up in the kissing department either. Nothing beyond the casual kiss; we never made out. And I love to make out, She just never seemed that into it. When you’re kissing someone that isn’t into it, it gets weird fast. Again, I give up too easily. I understand taking it slow, keeping things casual. But this was way too slow for me and way too casual.
Eventually, I started to notice that I was the only one initiating the dates. That didn’t really bother me until she started canceling dates. I hate being blown off; this is one of my biggest pet peeves. This happened three times and I felt like a sucker. A sucker for pursuing a girl who probably wasn’t actually interested me in and was just being nice. The last time she canceled our date I sent her a text saying, “Hit me up when you’re free and we’ll go out.” Then she never sent me another text.
One night soon after was closing night of a show that we were both working. There was an after party in the theatre and I was sitting by myself for a second and she came and sat down besides me.
“Hey,” she said.
“Hey,” I responded.
“So, what happened?,” she asked. “Why’d you stop calling me?”
“I didn’t. You never texted me back. I thought you weren’t interested,” I replied.
“What? No, I liked you. I thought I did something wrong,” she said.
“You didn’t do anything wrong. You just canceled enough dates to make me think you weren’t interested. You never texted me, ever, I was the only one to initiate dates, so I figured you weren’t interested.”
“No. I liked you. A lot,” she said.
“I liked you too, I just need a little back, you know. I don’t wanna be the one doing all the work. I love to pursue a girl, but I need at least something back.”
“Well, the Princess needs saving.”
“I don’t know what to say to that. This isn’t Mario,” I finally said.
We just sat there awkwardly for a moment looking at one another. I waited for her to say something else, but she never did. She got up and walked away.
After two months of dating I feel like it’s time for the girl to start also making some of the plans and initiate some text conversations, or even try to make out with me! Ugh, now I feel like I’m being a princess. It’s hard to date in LA. Dating in LA? Nobody dates in LA, because everyone is busy and we all have weird schedules. So, what little time we might get together, if I get blown off I tend to just give up. I’ve gone out with enough girls that were just being nice and weren’t actually interested, I thought that’s what I had here.
Upon thinking and writing about this I realize that I could have saved the Princess right there and then. But, I was too grossed out and turned off by her behavior to do the romantic thing. And I literally thought at the time, when she said, “the Princess needs saving,” that my Princess is in another castle.