Whatup my internet biaz!
First off, allow me to introduce myself – my name is HOVVV….
Okay, fine, my name is Anna and in most ways I’m just your average, kombucha-sippin, white girl, but in other ways I consider myself a trap lord. My friends at Labeling Men have been kind enough to enlist me as their official music critic, or as I like to call it, music director, mainly because I like to insert “director” into any professional title I hold. So quick confession – I know nothing about song composition and I have never played an instrument unless you count the three months in 7th grade that I convinced my very annoyed guitar instructor to teach me Chumbawamba’s “Tubthumping.” But music is the great love of my life and I’m one of the most critical bitches you’ll ever meet.
Like most white girls, my great musical loves include Radiohead and Modest Mouse and The Velvet Underground and all that predictable white-men-on-guitars shit. But ever since I first became familiar with the glorious natural high that is blasting rap music from an SUV to the point that the side view mirrors are shaking violently, I have held a deep affinity for hip hop. As I just used “affinity” and “hip hop” in the same sentence, you may expect my next line to involve something about loving the lyricism of Illmatic or the social consciousness of Mos Def, but really I just live for the beat that permeates your veins and makes you feel *invincible*. Thus, my favorite rappers include the most solipsistic among them – Yeezy, Jay, and of course Dwayne mutha fuckin Carter.
Lil Wayne: I don’t write anything down. I just record it.
Katie Couric: How do you remember it?
Lil Wayne: That’s the best part about it, everybody always asks me that. And I always tell them – it’s because I really am *it*.
As Tha Carter V was scheduled to drop this week [Wayne issued a statement claiming the album would be late due to a feud with Cash Money, explaining his creativity was being “prisoner], I thought it would be a good time to kick off my first #MusicMonday: #Throwback Edition. Below I list Weezy’s top ten tracks from my own highly subjective perspective. Unlike Kanye, whose skill and innovation have continued to grow with his increased fame, Weezy seemingly hit a plateau with Tha Carter III. Many a documentary and interview suggest that his impassioned relationship with sizzurp may be partially to blame. Thus, most of the below tracks are from the earlier part of his career, from the Hot Boys era to Tha Carter III, but there is a track or two from recent years. Ok, enough yapping. Leggggo!
Listen to the list plus more here: Weezy baby (best of)
10. “Believe Me” (2014)
This first single from elusive Tha Carter V, in which Wayne teams up with Drake and seemingly his producers, suggests perhaps Weezy has a few more hits left before the promethazine takes over.
9. “I’m Single” (2009)
This track aptly described by critic David Jeffries as a “woozy porno dream” appears on Wayne’s ninth mixtape, No Ceilings, and eighth album, I Am Not a Human Being. The song is slower and more Drake-esque that Weezy’s earlier stuff, and while I’ve never sipped lean (*street cred eviscerated*), I can only imagine this song evokes feelings of rapidly consuming a bathtub-sized amount of it, and ain’t that what being single’s all about?
8. “Rick as Fuck” (2013)
Remember when I said I liked rap because it makes me feel *invincible*? Well this track from I Am Not A Human Being II featuring my boy 2 Chainz formerly known as Tity Boi, is the paragon:
Look at you /
Now look at us /
ALL MY N*GGAZ LOOK RICH AZ FUCK
7. “I Need a Hot Girl” (1999)
If you, like me, were attending Bar Mitzvahs on the regular in 1999, you likely had your first awkward grinding experience to this Hot Boys jam, recorded when Weezy was still ‘Lil. And 15 years later, this Mannie Fresh produced track continues to provide the soundtrack to my slightly more confident but equally awkward private dance parties. Biggity bounce!
6. “Mrs. Officer” (2008)
According to Wikipedia, this Tha Carter III track explores “the sexual tension between male criminal suspects and female police officers,” a phenomenon utterly unbeknownst to me until this moment. To me, the track represents and pokes fun at those uptight, rule-obsessed basic bitches who I can’t seem to avoid. Baby what’s your number she say 911.
5. “La La La” (2008)
This David Banner produced track off Tha Carter III provided the soundtrack to many a college bowl cruise, and its Houston vibez chorus never ceases to fill me with adrenaline:
Started out hustling /
ENDED UP BALLIN.
4. “Stuntin Like My Daddy”(2006)
This first single from Lil Wayne’s album with Cash Money co-Founder Birdman, Like Father, Like Sun, is a true Weezy classic. I hope these two can work it out.
3. “A Milli” (2008)
A list of top Lil Wayne songs would be incomplete without “A Milli,” featuring arguably one of hip hop’s most recognizable and head-bumping beats. But since I now have a *platform*, I want to take the opportunity to say: A MENSTRAL BLEED IS NOT A VENEREAL DISEASE LIL WAYNE IT IS JUST PART OF BEING A REGULAR HEALTHY WOMAN.
2. “Go DJ” (2004)
If you have not driven an SUV through an urban area blasting “Go DJ,” you have not lived.
1. “Let the Beat Build” (2008)
I’m a sucker for a beat that builds and with the help of Kanye’s trademark gospel samples and stellar production skills (“and I’d like to thank Kanye”), this Tha Carter III track delivers on its title. At the end, Weezy performs what he does best – an unhinged double-time freestyle, delivering some of my favorite of his lines. While at times I have trouble reconciling my ardent feminism with my taste for misogynistic lyrics, here Weezy slays it so hard I don’t even care:
SUCK MY DICK WITH RED LIPSTICK AND DON’T LET IS SMEAR /
and I got a lot of tattoos and I meant every tear /
and I’m still on that street shit /
now back to the beat BITCH!
Written by Anna Dorn